Mr. Biggly

Mr. Biggly was a 60 year old man who just got divorced. His wife left him because he drank too much and was never home. She waited until their kids were grown and then she left.

Mr. Biggly liked to watch the kids at the middle school practice football. His favorite time to watch was when the middle school cheerleaders practiced their routines. It was the only time his dick got hard.

Mr. Biggly got fired from his job and started watching a lot of t.v. He was home all day. When Summer came around he hired some kids in the neighborhood to work on his yard. He paid them in sports memorabilia.

"Mr. Biggly," how come you have all this sports memorabilia asked one of the kids.

"Oh, well, I used to be a scout for the Denver Broncos."

"Really?"

"Yeah back in the late 80's, but that was before you kids' time."

The kids left Mr. Biggly's house and went and told their parents.

"That Mr. Biggly is a fucking liar and a creep and you kids aren't going back over there," said Joey's Mom.

That was the end of Mr. Biggly's Summer yard help.

Around Fall the kids were back practicing their sports. The boys played football, and the girls practiced their cheer leading routines.

One day Mr. Biggly showed back up at the field. He was wearing his Denver Broncos jacket and hat. He was eating a hamburger.

One of the boys playing football pointed and laughed at Mr. Biggly. "There goes your scout Joey. Maybe he might have some extra work for you back at his house."

All the other boys laughed.

Then coach Parr, one of the player's father, called Mr. Biggly over.

Mr. Biggly walked over to the coach all proud; as if he had purpose.

"What the fuck are you doing here Biggly? I mean I see you all the time, and you don't even have a kid in school."

"Ah..O.. MMM...I like..want to help out."

"Bullshit Biggly, I've seen you rubbing your crotch and staring at those little girls. Joey's Mom told me about how you told the kids you used to be a scout for that stupid team," pointing to Mr. Biggly's Bronco's hat.

"Well I...Ah."

"Do you think I would let you help do anything around here you perverted puke."

"I..Ah"

"Well I think you should get the fuck out of here Biggly."

Mr. Biggly started to cry. The football team started chanting "Biggly Boo...Biggly Boo Hoo," over and over again as he walked away.

Mr. Biggly went home. He smashed his fist into a wall and fell down on his kitchen floor crying.

"I'm so stupid...so stupid..."

Then there was a knock on the door.

It was Shelly, Mr. Biggly's daughter.

"Dad, you are a fucking joke. I just got a call about your escapade at the Middle School," Shelly yelled from the front porch.

"I hope you die real soon so you stop embarrassing us. You asshole."